Wake up India!

Once again there is justifiable anger at the molestation of a woman  by a pizza delivery boy. News anchors are hyper ventilating asking the question, Are women not safe at home anymore? They were never safe at home anyway as the domestic violence and rape statistics show.

There was also a discussion on it as a failure of our police and judiciary with a focus on whether we need to redefine the age of a "Juvenile"

There are also write ups in editorial pages saying that we need to address the issue of falling sex ratio if we want to address increasing crimes against women.

While I fully understand the need for better criminal investigation and quick justice and agree  about the possible escalation in violence against women due to shortage of women, to put the current incidents in that context is highly misplaced.

These are not frustrated middle aged men  who failed to get a wife. These are children, 15,16,17 years old who should be in high school dreaming of a bright future, may be having a girl friend, and some recreation.

Instead they are working in least remunerative and exploitative work conditions in jobs as delivery boys, courier boys, cable tv and other mechanics. They are paid less, are not respected for their work. They often face violence and humiliation at work. Most of them have run away from homes or live alone in slums. They see the rich and beautiful and are constantly exposed to the glitz and glamour. They have dreams of riding that beautiful bike with a girl they desire or love. All of which are not possible given their circumstances. The pent up anger and frustration leads to criminal activities or explodes into acts of violence particularly when the provocation comes from a woman who is in a much better position than they are, denting his macho image. These incidents are sexual crimes which are having strong socio-economic underpinnings.

A boy who delivers pizzas in US goes to school, goes back to a home which is comfortable and can afford to buy a pizza if he wants. The pizza boys in India see boys and girls of his age ordering pizzas which may be more than his salary for a month and represent everything that he wants but cannot afford. Imagine what goes in their mind?

The writing on the wall is very clear. We need more inclusive growth. We need more child friendly environment, where bad schools do not force children to run away from homes, where education builds the vocational skills of the students, where housing is decent, and food is adequate.

If the government and all other stakeholder groups do not take note of this as a symptom but as the disease, the incidents are only going to grow. Not just in number,may be in brutality as well.

Time to invest in our youth, otherwise our demographic dividend may turn out to be a demographic disaster.

A lost opportunity?

 It was Nirbhya's birthday on 10th May. I am sure she would have celebrated it with her friends,  hanging out in a Mall, having dinner at some place and catching up a movie. Small pleasures of young people. But it was not to be because of the  bestial and inhuman behavior of some men who raped and left her to die. She died but only after she made each one of us conscious of the cruelty, the unfairness and the brazenness of the act.

I am sure many parents after the incident may have hugged their daughters and thought" thank god! It is not my daughter" and many others may have heaved a sigh of relief and thought " thank  God! I do not have a daughter". While both the sentiments are understandable given the gory details discussed endlessly in media and the mass reaction to the incident, they are problematic in their own way. On the one hand it may force parents to restrict the freedom of their daughters fearing for their safety and on the other hand it may help justify the decision of many parents not to have daughters. More important is for every parent of a boy to  ensure that he respects the rights of girls and women. That is possible only when we as adults have more equitable gender relationships in the family.

In retrospect, the whole debate somehow got restricted to policing and death penalty to the offenders. The anger at the candle light vigils and protest marches was also against the administration and the police. Many important factors which are widening the gender gap in aspirations,  values and needs of men and women, the cultural lag between the urban and rural perceptions about women and the modern and  patriarchal gender frameworks are not discussed to the extent required.

For instance, the insensitive sentiments from politicians and religious leaders only elicited condemnation, and jeering from the media with a highly defensive reaction from the offenders and their supporters. And,  after a few hours or days of media attention, the issue is forgotten.

 I would have loved to see a hour long discussion of Asaram Bapu with a cross section of young men and women regarding what his position is on the role of women, their status in families and society and his stand on violence against women .  It would have definitely helped us understand why religious leaders think the way they do and may be we could have sensitized him to what the young generation thinks about gender issues. It may have also opened up discussions between parents and children at homes.

Instead what we had was aggressive anchors/reporters trying to corner him, make him confess that what he said was wrong and extract an apology. We lost a golden opportunity to have a meaningful exchange of ideas.

Similarly, I would have loved to know about the background of the MPs who made such ridiculous statements, what was their stand on gender or development issue in the Parliament or Assembly, what was their level of participation in decision making etc. It would have helped the viewers understand the diverse perspectives and could have promoted a dialogue to bring about mindset change. But it requires research, investment of time and resources. Is it that in the 24 HR format of breaking news we do not have the luxury of such engagement on issues? Is the tried and tested formula of a panel discussion the only option? I fail to understand the purpose of a defensive ruling party representative, the heckling opposition party members with civil society and media representatives chipping into add to the noise in TV discussions. The audience can predict what each one of them is going to say and after a while switch channels.

The popular response to Nirbhaya incident was also more driven by anger and frustration. After watching hours and hours of TV I failed to understand whether we are protesting the treatment of women in India in general or venting our anger against the corrupt police force and self seeking and apathetic political class? What were the concerns of the protestors, who looked so bothered , so anguished and so angry? Did we try to understand their real concerns? Don't you think it would have been great to have a cross section of them particularly young men,  8 to 10 of them,speaking about why they are bothered, anguished and angry.

What are their perceptions regarding women? Do they think that a woman -  his sister, mother, girl friend, friend or wife has a right to choose her career and her life partner,  right to freedom to go out in the night, watch late night movies, be with a male companion alone, resist the advances of a man,  go to a pub and have a drink and dress up the way she wants. We could have had an audience poll, a social media event on the opinions expressed by the participants, thus drawing the viewers into a discussion. This could have been followed with a panel discussion to frame it in a larger perspective.

Even in the current scenario of 24/7 news channels, breaking news and cut throat competition for TRPs there is scope for improving the programming. We only need to think out of the box and give our viewers the respect that they deserve.

Till we do that Gudias and Nirbhayas keep coming and going on the national scene with not much difference to the way we treat our women in our homes, on the streets and at work places.

MARD for redefining gender?

There is an expression in Telugu´Karana  Janmuralu’ one who is born for a cause. I think, Nirbhaya is one. The brutal violence that she faced, her suffering, courage and death has shaken us out of our stupor and forced us to shake out of our apathy. A number of people have come forward to support the campaign against gender based violence and news papers have been consistently highlighting incidents of violence against women which would otherwise be relegated to some small corner in the inside pages. While this is making reading the news paper a harrowing experience, it is keeping us focused on the issue.

The most important fall out of this is the churning that has been brought about in the film fraternity with Bollywood stars coming out to support the cause in a big way. Farhan Akhtar’s MARD (men against rape and domestic violence) is a laudable effort. And, the discussion on item songs for once is being initiated by the film fraternity itself with candid expression of opinions on male gaze and objectification of women’s body. The thin line between freedom to express and celebrate sexuality and sensuality as against yielding to male gaze and objectification is being acknowledged. It was pleasure watching Shabana Azmi and Zoya Akhtar speaking on various channels/fora on the issue with seriousness and insight.

Just see the impact of MARD. It is being promoted by sports stars in IPL. Media is lapping it up; there are promotional events, icons from film industry lending their support and the social media buzzing.

But my concern is only with the packaging of the issue. The word “MARD”is highly gendered unlike purush or Aadmi. Whenever, we refer to men in a positive light we often use these words, Maryada Purushottam for deity Ram, aadmi achcha hai, aadmi ho ya janwar etc. We do not use MARD. We use Mard in contexts which are violent, aggressive, war like situations. It is actually used as a counter to the feminine stereo type. We say “mard hai to kar ke dikha”, “kya mard hai yaar, biwi ko control kar nahi sakta” etc.  The emotions evoked by MARD are those of power, authority, control and violence particularly against women.

The twirling moustache indicates once again pride, arrogance and control. A MARD is expected to protect a woman because she is his property and if he is mard enough he should not let anyone attack his property. So he insists that she need not work because he earns enough, she should not provoke others to attack her by going alone or going out in the nights, she should not challenge the boundaries set for her by getting involved in relationships beyond what is dictated by the Mard in her family. 

A Mard with or without twirling moustache would feel compromised if he cannot control the woman’s freedom and sexuality. He is not Mard enough, if for the sake of family honour he is not able to eliminate her, if the situation demands. A Mard is a demi God, no woman dare resist or reject him to pursue her own dreams and aspirations. If she does, he is ready with the most potent weapons, a bottle of acid, a can of kerosene or a sharp knife to disfigure her for life and of course his MARDANGI to rape and humiliate her for life. Umpteen films have been successful solely based on this theme of Mardangi - violation of women, macho response, revenge and retribution.

Will Farhan’s MARD be able to change the cultural and gender definitions of Mardangi/Masculinity? We will have to wait and watch.   

   

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind

I have recieved responses on my facebook and also on phone from people arguing passionaltely that the men raping women should be castrated, have their limbs amputated and tortured to put the fear of law in them. While I understand the anger and helplessness (these are precisely the thoughts that come to my mind when I read about these atrocities first thing in the morning) I feel we can not yield to mass histeria and turn into a barbaric country. The more severe the punishment, the more cautious are the courts in giving the punishment and such cases will always remain as rarest of rare cases with regular violence going on unabated. Do we wait for a molester to turn in to a rapist to act?

It is not the severity of the punishment but the immediacy, promptness and efficiency of meting out punishment that is important. Recently, I had two experiences of dealing with police. First was when I lost my wallet and wanted to lodge a complaint in the police station. I was asked the exact location where I lost the wallet as the complaint had to be lodged in the police station which has jurisdiction over that area.

The second is a sexual harrassment case in a college where a boy has been sending obscene messages to a girl. When the college complained to the police, the police put the fear of law in the mind of the ..... girl, presenting her a bleak picture of having to run around police stations and courts if she filed an FIR against her tormentor. Predicatably, the girl refused to file the complaint and the boy was let off by the college with a warning and an apology to the girl. And it was not his first offence. He was a repeat offender. Who is responsible if he indulges in a bigger crime?

If we want to stop violence against women we should have prompt action against violators and a social  dissaproval from the community. The man who raped the little girl, married the girl he raped under the orders from the Panchayat an he is also suspected in the rape and murder of his sister-in law. If only action was taken at the first instance, we would not have had to live with the image of the girl so brutalized by him.

But why do police not want to register cases? I think it has got to do a lot with performance appraisals which are based on absence of crimes in their area. Therefore. they would like to keep the figures low. I think it is time that police are evaluated on more qualitative indicators like the process of investigation, number of cases standing judicial scrutiny, number of cases where they worked with the community to address gender violence issues  etc. Incentivising these not just interms of money but also interms of awards and recognition may also help.

Once the community members are confident that the police will act and the offenders will be punished, there will be more people coming forward to file cases as well as support the police in investigations. Professionalizing the police force is the need of the hour along with addressing the larger social development issues that underpin the violence.

Dehumanizing Society

One more bestial rape. This time that of a 5 year old girl. The scene is a repeat of December 16. Police wanting to hush up the case because they do not want to show the government and their department in a poor light, public outrage, sloganeering, expression of deep sense of despair by the Prime Minister, demands for resignation of ministers, police misbehavior with women protesters and media going over board covering it.  I fully support the efforts of activists to bring in more accountability on the part of politicians, demand more professional and efficient policing, and of course the long standing demand for more sensitive and stringent laws against violence against women. 

However,  in all this frenzy, are we not missing out an important aspect of our society? The dehumanization of our youth? I acknowledge that sexual crimes are committed by men across classes and rural urban contexts. But I am worried about a large segment of the population which is  growing at an alarming rate - the out of school, migrant or home less young people who are completely left out of the pale of development. Just think about this: a boy drops out of school, runs  away to a big city at the age of 11, lives on the street, works  in a tea stall facing violence on a day to day basis just to fill his stomach, exposed to drugs, liquor, commercial sex, underworld dealings, and may be brutalization in the hands of adults he deals with.  

He is so thoroughly dehumanized that brutal violence becomes second nature to him. Add to this, the sense of deprivation when he is constantly bombarded with images of luxury, plenty and celebration of unhindered consumption. He is constantly exposed to sleaze and meaningless violenceon TV, in  films and on mobile. Remember, all this while he has no opportunity to question or redefine his patriarchal values. No way to understand his own sexual needs and express them in a  healthy manner. If a sixteen year old boy could brutalize a woman so badly , if a 24 year old could inflict such brutal sexual violence on a five year old and if young men do not think twice before disfiguring women with acid we need to look at what kind of a society we are building.

Police reforms, laws etc are important in their own way but what is important is heavy investment in our youth - on their education, employment and rehabilitation. We need to make counseling centers available in each and ever locality where youth could come and get professional help as well as find a place to forge more healthy relationships. We have a dearth of trained counsellors who could provide free services to youth. We need to invest in building a cadre of trained counselors not just software engineers.  We need to invest in providing support to home less and people living on streets so that they live in a safe environment. We need to focus on sexual health programmes both for school and out of school youth. 

We can not ignore these issues anymore, not in a world where information,aspirations and dreams are being freely peddled through media and advertising. If we do not respond, it would lead to the frustration of rising aspirations. It should not surprise us if such incidents become more and more common in future. 

How about  each one of us, starting a dialogue and striking a conversation with the young men on gender and sexual health issues in our families, neighborhoods and work places?

It is time to stop the dehumanization of youth and build a world that is equal and safe for all.

(if I get comments on this blog saying that I am justifying and rationalizing rape, I see no hope for this country

Ched Chaad Kyon? Atyachhar Kyon?

The last few days have seen a number of protests against the most brutal violence perpetrated against a woman. The doctors said that they have never seen such gruesome injuries in a sexual assault. It is no surprise that it woke us up from our slumber and made us to take to the streets asking for death for the perpetrators, action against the lax policemen and justice for the woman.  I hope all this angst and collective action would see quick, appropriate and stern action against the criminals.

Yet, I feel very agitated and sort of lost. Last night I was at Thane railway station, with my 11 year old niece, who was just lost in her own world just having fun with us. A girl who is on the threshold of adolescence not yet told to behave like a “Grown-Up Girl”. A man in his forties was ogling at her. I was shocked and started staring at him to make him know that he is being observed and the mother of the child also joined me in staring at him.  He averted his gaze and started looking at her surreptitiously. We could see that he was self conscious and was ashamed.

Why did I find his gaze only objectionable and not of the others? What would be the reaction of the others if I say that he is ogling at the child? Will I have anybody supporting me? Don’t you think people will say that I am reading too much into it and that my activism is going out of control? More importantly, if he could ogle at a child with such impunity in a public place when she is in the company of her family, will any girl be safe in this city?

I always wonder why we always ask only the women/girls who face such violence to take action or the police and judiciary to respond quickly. What about us who are ‘safe’ for the time being? What is our collective responsibility to make our spaces safe for girls and women?  Eve teasing is fun, it is a lesser evil, it is harm less, it is part of growing up – any number of justifications to let it pass. Men who misbehave say rubbing against women in public places, groping, pinching and squeezing are all unintentional, harmless physical encounters in crowded public places. Every woman and girl knows how humiliating and disgusting it is.

Yes, I do agree that girls/women should lodge complaints, police should take quick action and courts should ensure that such criminals do not go scot free. But, who is going to work for a social environment where there is zero tolerance for such behavior, where woman/girl feel empowered enough to lodge complaints and police are sensitive enough to take them seriously? When do we take the time to simply stop and stare and make a person conscious of the fact that he is being watched and his misbehavior is being noted instead of looking the other way or walking away unconcerned? Just imagine 30 pairs of eyes looking at a violator and making him feel isolated, marginalized and self conscious?  The behavior could be leering, whistling, hooting, passing comments or the so called inadvertent touch. There should be zero tolerance for all. We as passersby, users of public spaces should reclaim these spaces for ourselves and not yield to others who indulge in such violence.  If we react only when there is a ghastly crime the impact is limited to only that particular incident, as action is initiated under public pressure and media activism.

Anti-smoking campaign became successful in marginalizing the smokers, only when the smokers claimed their right to smoke free public spaces. We can learn from it. We will have safe public spaces only when men and women, boys and girls have zero tolerance for any kind of violence.

It was heartening to see many men shouting slogans and supporting the woman fighting for her life and asking for death for the perpetrators of the crime. What is the tolerance threshold of these young men? At what level does violence against women bother them? Do they react only when it happens to their friends, girl friends, sisters or other family members or do they react anywhere and anytime the same way? What is harmless Ched Chad? How do they define atyachhaar? It is important to know, because they are critical players in making the world safe for us all by building a culture of zero-tolerance to violence.

The latest Delhi incident has shaken us out of our stupor, with not just the activists but common men and women joining the protests. Let’s not lose steam. Let’s keep asking the question Ched Chad Kyon? Hinsachhar Kyon? Atyachar Kyon? at every possible forum and context. Promote critical thinking in schools and colleges on gender violence and come up with strategies at the micro level to combat the problem in housing societies, in local area management committees, at street corners, railway stations, bus stands and what have you. We cannot let go of it as yet another exceptional case, but make it the turning point to redefine how we view violence against women.

(A small attempt is made by Laadli under its Question Everything initiative where students raised questions regarding gender violence through 1 minute movies. View them at www.1mm.co.in and please feel free to use the films to initiate discussion on gender violence. There is also a powerful play titled “Ched Chad Kyon” by Mr. Manjul Bhardwaj (etftor@gmail.com) which could also be used to initiate discussions on gender violence with the youth.

Time to act

http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report_gynaecs-to-be-hit-with-rule-book-after-bombay-high-court-order_1756663


It is heartening to read about the recent directive of High Court to the Maharashtra Medical Council to suspend the registration of doctors against whom charges have been filed. It  is yet another positive development in our fight against pre-birth sex selection.

We at Population First believe that majority of doctors may not be actively involved in sex determination but it is their silence which puts the whole profession under suspicion, often calling for drastic measures that may abridge the freedom of all doctors.  If MCI, the State Medical Councils,  FOGSI and IMA were proactive in exerting pressure on their fellow professionals who were  misusing the pre-natal diagnostic techniques for sex determination, I am sure the sex ratios would not have come down so drastically. Instead the professional regulatory bodies refused to take action citing violations of the PCPNDT act as minor oversights rather than blatant disregard for the law.

Not displaying the board regarding the crime of pre-birth sex selection and the registration certificate, not having a copy of the PCPNDT act, and not filling the F Form are all violations which are as serious as disclosing the sex of the foetus under the Act. The courts as well as the monitoring Appropriate Authorities also often considered these as minor offenses letting out the violators with a fine. This had grossly undermined the law.

The MMC, FOGSI and Radiologists Associations refused to suspend or cancel the registration of the doctors even when the courts have convicted the doctors. They insist that an internal inquiry should prove them to be guilty to initiate action which challenges the very judicial process. Often the culprits go for an appeal in higher courts and continue to practice with cases pending in the court. It is often argued by the regulatory bodies that corrupt government officials and NGOs file cases to  harass and blackmail doctors, therefore an internal inquiry is needed to initiate any action.

In the light of this, it is heartening to note that judiciary in Maharashtra is taking up the issue more seriously and had convicted a  number of doctors even for the so called "minor offenses" often refusing bail to them. It has issued directives to the Government, Appropriate Authorities and now to the regulatory bodies to get into action and do their jobs well.

The laudable efforts of the judiciary should be supported by all who believe that discrimination based on gender is the worst form of discrimination, that does not  reflect well on a society that aspires to be one of world's super power.